梅苑双语学院

托福作文例子怎么选才能拿高分?

托福作文中的例子是支撑论点、增强说服力的关键要素,一个恰当的例子能让抽象的观点变得具体可感,也能展现考生的逻辑思维和知识储备,在托福写作中,无论是独立写作还是综合写作,例子的选择、组织和表达都直接影响文章的质量,以下将从例子的作用、选择标准、类型、构建方法以及常见误区等方面展开详细说明,并通过具体案例和表格形式帮助理解。

托福作文的例子
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托福作文例子的核心作用

托福作文评分标准中,“阐释与论证”(Explanation and Support)是重要评分项,而例子正是阐释和论证的核心载体,例子主要有三大作用:

  1. 具象化抽象观点:托福作文题目常涉及抽象概念(如“科技进步是否提升生活质量”“团队合作的重要性”),例子能将这些概念转化为具体场景,让读者更容易理解,论证“团队合作促进创新”时,若仅说“团队成员贡献不同想法”,显得空泛;若举例“苹果公司开发iPhone时,设计团队、工程师和市场人员协作,融合了触控交互、硬件性能和用户需求,最终颠覆手机行业”,观点立刻变得生动可信。
  2. 增强论证逻辑:例子是连接论点和结论的桥梁,通过具体事例说明“为什么论点成立”或“论点如何成立”,论证“政府应投资公共交通”时,举例“日本东京通过大力发展地铁和JR线路,高峰时段拥堵率比依赖私家车的洛杉矶低40%,且人均碳排放量仅为美国的1/3”,数据+案例的组合让“投资公共交通的好处”更具说服力。
  3. 展现语言能力:恰当的例子能自然融入句子,展示词汇运用和句式变换能力,用“a case in point”(恰当的例子)、“take...as an illustration”(以……为例)等短语引出案例,或用复杂句描述案例(如“Not only did the policy reduce plastic waste by 60%, but it also raised public awareness of environmental protection”),都能体现语言水平。

选择例子的黄金标准

并非所有例子都适合托福作文,选择时需遵循以下标准,可通过表格对比清晰说明:

标准 符合标准的例子 不符合标准的例子
相关性 论证“线上教育普及”时,举例“Coursera平台让哈佛、MIT的课程向全球开放,超1亿人受益” 举例“线下图书馆的借阅量下降”(偏离“线上教育”主题)
具体性 “2025年北京冬奥会,AI翻译设备支持20种语言实时互译,沟通效率提升50%” “科技让交流更方便”(缺乏具体时间、事件和数据)
真实性 举例“特斯拉通过自动驾驶技术减少交通事故,2025年数据显示其车辆事故率比行业平均低30%” 编造“某公司研发出永不耗能的电池”(无事实依据)
典型性 论证“阅读对个人成长有益”时,举例“比尔·盖茨每年读50本书,公开书单中《思考,快与慢》等作品影响其决策” 举例“我邻居通过阅读考上大学”(个人案例缺乏普遍性)
简洁性 “SpaceX的猎鹰9火箭实现火箭回收,发射成本降低70%,推动商业航天发展” 详细描述火箭回收的技术原理(过于冗长,偏离论点)

托福作文例子的常见类型及案例解析

根据来源和性质,托福作文例子可分为个人经历、名人/企业案例、历史事件、社会现象、数据研究等类型,不同类型适用于不同题目。

个人经历类

适用场景:题目涉及个人选择、成长经历、日常生活(如“是否应该参加兼职”“挑战对个人的意义”)。
案例: “Do you agree that challenging experiences help people grow?”
论点:Challenging experiences cultivate resilience and problem-solving skills.
例子:Last summer, I participated in a 10-day hiking expedition in the mountains. Initially, I struggled with the heavy backpack and steep trails, wanting to quit on the third day. However, our team leader encouraged us to break the journey into small goals—reaching the next rest stop every two hours. By the end, not only did I complete the hike, but I also learned to persist through difficulties and adapt to unexpected changes, like sudden rain. This experience made me realize that challenges push us beyond our comfort zones and foster inner strength.

托福作文的例子
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优势:真实、亲切,容易写出细节;注意:避免过度私人化(如仅描述情绪),需突出“经历如何支撑论点”。

名人/企业案例类

适用场景:题目涉及成功、创新、领导力、社会责任等(如“是否应该鼓励创业”“企业应优先考虑利润还是社会责任”)。
案例: “Should businesses prioritize social responsibility over profits?”
论点:Businesses that balance social responsibility and profits achieve long-term success.
例子:A notable example is Patagonia, an outdoor clothing company. Instead of maximizing short-term profits, it invests in environmental initiatives, such as using recycled materials and donating 1% of sales to environmental groups. In 2025, when faced with supply chain challenges, the company chose to slow production rather than compromise on sustainable practices. Surprisingly, this decision enhanced its brand loyalty—sales increased by 30% that year, as consumers increasingly favored eco-conscious brands. This demonstrates that social responsibility can drive profitability and sustainability.

优势:知名度高,说服力强;注意:需准确描述事实(如企业名称、事件时间),避免错误。

历史事件类

适用场景:题目涉及历史规律、制度变迁、文化传承等(如“是否应该保留历史建筑”“战争对科技发展的推动”)。
案例: “Should governments preserve historical buildings even if they hinder modern development?”
论点:Historical buildings are irreplaceable cultural assets that should be preserved.
例子:The city of Warsaw serves as a powerful illustration. During World War II, over 85% of its buildings were destroyed, including the historic Old Town. Rather than replacing them with modern structures, the Polish government launched a reconstruction project in the 1950s, using old photographs and documents to rebuild the Old Town authentically. In 1980, the reconstructed Old Town was designated a UNESCO World Heritage Site, attracting millions of tourists annually and boosting the local economy. This case shows that historical preservation not only safeguards cultural identity but also contributes to modern development.

托福作文的例子
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优势:时间跨度长,体现深度;注意:需简明扼要,避免陷入历史细节。

社会现象类

适用场景:题目涉及社会趋势、科技影响、教育政策等(如“社交媒体对人际关系的影响”“是否应该延长义务教育”)。
案例: “Do social media strengthen or weaken interpersonal relationships?”
论点:Social media weaken interpersonal relationships by reducing face-to-face communication.
例子:In recent years, the phenomenon of “phubbing” (snubbing others to focus on phones) has become prevalent. During family dinners, it is common to see members scrolling through social media instead of talking to each other. A 2025 survey by the Pew Research Center found that 64% of teenagers feel ignored by their parents when parents use phones at meals, and 58% of adults report decreased satisfaction in their relationships due to this behavior. This trend indicates that social media, while connecting people virtually, often undermines the quality of real-life interactions.

优势:贴近现实,容易引起共鸣;注意:需结合具体现象和数据,避免泛泛而谈。

数据研究类

适用场景:题目需要量化论证(如“是否应该提高最低工资”“远程办公的效率”)。
案例: “Should the government increase the minimum wage?”
论点:Increasing the minimum wage improves low-income workers’ living standards without significant job loss.
例子:A 2025 study by the University of California, Berkeley, analyzed the impact of minimum wage hikes in 10 U.S. states. The results showed that for every $1 increase in the minimum wage, low-income workers’ earnings rose by an average of 9%, and employment rates decreased by only 0.5%—a negligible effect. In contrast, in states without minimum wage hikes, poverty rates among full-time workers increased by 3% over the same period. This data suggests that moderate minimum wage increases can reduce poverty without harming the job market.

优势:客观、权威,说服力强;注意:需注明数据来源(如研究机构、年份),确保可信度。

构建例子的四步法

一个好的例子需经过“选择-聚焦-展开-关联”四个步骤,以下以“政府是否应资助艺术”为例说明:

  1. 选择例子:确定“政府资助艺术促进文化传承”为主题,选择“法国卢浮宫”作为案例。
  2. 聚焦细节:筛选与论点相关的细节——卢浮宫由政府资助,收藏《蒙娜丽莎》等名画,年访客量超900万,开展艺术教育项目。
  3. 展开描述:用简洁语言连接细节,突出因果关系。
  4. 关联论点:结尾明确说明例子如何支撑论点。

完整案例
“Government funding for the arts is essential for preserving cultural heritage. A compelling example is the Louvre Museum in Paris. Funded by the French government, the Louvre houses over 380,000 artworks, including the iconic Mona Lisa. It attracts nearly 10 million visitors annually, generating significant tourism revenue and promoting French culture globally. Moreover, the museum offers free art workshops for students, fostering an appreciation for art among younger generations. This demonstrates that government investment in the arts not only safeguards cultural treasures but also boosts education and the economy.”

使用例子的常见误区及规避方法

  1. 例子堆砌,缺乏分析:仅罗列例子,不说明“例子如何证明论点”。
    错误示范:“Marie Curie discovered radium. Thomas Edison invented the light bulb. Steve Jobs created the iPhone. All these people succeeded because of hard work.”
    修改:强调“例子与论点的关联”,如“Marie Curie conducted thousands of experiments to discover radium, enduring years of hardship in her lab. Similarly, Thomas Edison tested over 1,000 materials for the light bulb filament before finding the right one. These cases illustrate that persistent hard work is the cornerstone of scientific and technological breakthroughs.”

  2. 例子陈旧或单一:反复使用“爱迪生发明灯泡”“牛顿被苹果砸”等常见例子,缺乏新意。
    规避方法:积累多元案例,关注近期事件(如2025年疫情中的科技应用、2025年巴黎奥运会的新举措)或小众但典型的例子(如冰岛地热能源的利用)。

  3. 虚构或夸大事实:为迎合论点编造例子,如“某公司通过AI技术解决了全球饥饿问题”。
    规避方法:优先选择真实案例(可参考新闻报道、学术论文、权威机构报告),若需个人经历,确保基于事实且合理。

相关问答FAQs

Q1: 托福作文中,个人经历例子和名人例子哪个更好?
A1: 两者各有优势,需根据题目和自身情况选择,个人经历例子真实、独特,容易写出细节,适合涉及个人观点或生活体验的题目(如“是否应该 gap year”);名人例子知名度高、说服力强,适合涉及社会、科技、文化等宏观话题的题目(如“是否应该限制人工智能发展”),但需注意:个人经历例子需避免过度主观,需提炼普遍意义;名人例子需确保事实准确,避免错误,建议考生准备2-3个不同类型的案例库,灵活应对题目。

Q2: 如何在托福作文中高效使用数据例子?
A2: 使用数据例子时,需遵循“简洁、相关、权威”原则,选择与论点直接相关的数据(如论证“远程办公提高效率”,可引用“2025年斯坦福研究显示,远程办公员工生产力提高13%”);避免堆砌过多数据,通常1-2个关键数据即可;注明数据来源(如“according to a study by...”“the World Bank reports that...”)以增强可信度,需简要解释数据的含义,说明“数据如何证明论点”,而非仅呈现数字。“The 13% productivity increase can be attributed to fewer workplace distractions and flexible working hours, which align with the argument that remote work enhances efficiency.”

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